I've been having some insightful conversations in my head lately.. and I've decided I should auction myself out for dates.
See, this way I can get some fast cash and I get to meet new people. So, any takers? I'm not a very good conversationalist, and I cannot juggle, but I can tell dumb jokes. Feed me alcohol and I will be willing to do almost anything; just make sure you feed me enough so I can forget everything. You can be of any height, weight, race, age or body shape but strictly no facial hair (including women); I DON'T WANT ABRASIONS (and it tickles). Applicants should preferably be rich, good-looking and of a nice built; but if you're neither that's okay, just make sure you feed me alot of alcohol. If you drive a car, that's perfect; if you don't, that's fine; if you drive a cab, please don't apply.
I provide social escort and personal dating services, and whatever happens after will be charged by the hour. Prices negotiable and cheap cheap deals for first 50 customers! So hurry leave a tag, or send in your details to skinne_@hotmail.com!
This applies to the melburnians only; singaporeans wait for your turn till dec 14th hor.
So, my place, or yours?
(I hope you realise I'm only partially serious. Like, no, really.) ---
Hahaha so I'm done with the essay! Which explains the above. And now I present a super cute video, courtesy of V.
I WANT TO HUG THE DOG LOR! ---
Now isn't it a crying shame to be stuck in reverse for the rest of your days?
It's been way too long to still be feeling like this, so someone please set the butterflies free once again. Oh, and thank you brenton ramenbowl for the trance songs; I am now bobbing my head up and down like the figurines you see in cabs.
HELLO GODSKITCHEN I HOPE YOU'LL BE GOOD FUN! Every motherfucking tick tick tick tick tick
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